Hollywood Scanner Blog

It looks like the VMA Awards were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to Britney Spears lovefests, because another pop music institution is making a big deal about Britney’s return to form (literally, as these pictures show — even with all the airbrushing).  You’d think that these jokers didn’t enjoy those paparazzi episodes like everyone else, with all the cunny-flashing and head-shaving white trash goodness you could handle.

My guess is we’re all just in need of a nice, long wank fest, with all the pressure everyone’s been under, with the bankruptcies and recent elections.  And we can’t do that with a bald Britney pigging out everyday with whatever she can get her hands on, washed down with a gallon of beer.  So yeah, I guess we ought to be thankful she’s gotten that sexy bod back, the one we were all drooling over back when she first showed up in her sizzling schoolgirl outfit.

That’s the kind of body you can see in her new Rolling Stones pictorial, and if you can ignore the crazy look in her eye that’s still there, you’ll be hard as a rock in no time, especially when you remember her debauched party girl ways.  Want to refresh your memory?  Click on this link to go back to those weird-ass Britney Spears days of yore, and bet on it that she’ll be back to her tabloid-friendly tricks in no time!

I think that the UN should take a glance at these images, and they’ll probably come to the same conclusion I did.  Yes, Denise Milani and her awesome chest torpedoes should definitely be deployed to the Gulf of Aden to attack Somali pirates.  Just imagine the shock and awe those assholes will experience at the sight of these gigantic twin 32-DDDs (that’s 3-Ds, which is also the format we wish these pictures came in) hurtling towards them at full speed!  On second thought, those pirates already have enough perks, with all the dough that they’ve been able to acquire from ransoming all that oil back to their real owners.  This big-breasted honey belongs to us, and we’re not giving her up to those bastards…

And in case you’re clueless as to who she is, Denise is a topless model, which means she’s a big-boobed pseudo-celebrity like Keeley Hazell, Lucy Pinder or Katie Price.  If some of those those names sound familiar to you, but you don’t know a thing about Page 3 girls, then maybe you know of them through their homemade porn videos.  Sadly, the awesome twin peaks of Denise Milani haven’t appeared in any sex tape yet, but these wet n’ wild photographs are enough to get us pretty hard for now!  But if you’re looking for some raunchy and erotic video action, then check out this link to see the dirty amateur sex videos of Keeley Hazell and Katie Price.  If you’re having second thoughts, have a gander at Denise Milani again and tell me you don’t want to see someone like her get down n’ dirty!