Hollywood Scanner Blog

It’s Lily Allen topless!  Scratching your head at this bit of nekkid news?  Then your taste in music must run counter to the music fans over in Britain, where Lily Allen is pretty big, both for her music and her musical collaborations and for her tabloid-friendly meltdowns, in public and on her webpage.  But hey, that’s how Lily Allen got famous in the first place — she started posting her music on her My Space page and soon she was getting thousands and thousands of hits and invites as the social networking enthusiasts on that site helped get her enough attention to receive some mainstream music company help in releasing and promoting her songs.  Her songs have been downloaded 19 million times from her page there.  No money from that kind of set-up though, right?  Well, she’s in the music biz now though, with a number one UK single, Brit Awards and MTV VMA nominations.  She also had a TV show, but what really makes her a celeb we like to follow is her Lindsay-like public displays of drunkeness, her rehab stints, and controversial statements against other stars like Amy Winehouse and Kylie Minogue.  We’ve also seen her titties before, in a topless scenario in Cannes.

So, interested in Lily Allen now?  You know you’re going to see much more of her [knockers|funbags|ta tas|boobs|bumpers|bosoms]] in the future, and you can check out what you’ve missed here on this site right now!

It’s the Christmas season so we’re spreading the Holiday cheer the best way we know how — ignoring the A-List celebs all bundled up in layers of warm clothing as they snuggle next to the fireplaces in their mansions and vacation houses — so that we can bring you something better.  Now how can an English pin up  model be better than gossip on some really famous Hollywood celeb?  Well, how about if they’re stacked, topless and posing in a Santa-themed bikini?  Yeah, I knew I had you at stacked, and it’s not as if Danielle Lloyd is a total unknown, stripping for the cameras to make next month’s rent or something like that.  No, she’s an actual beauty title-holder, with Miss England 2004 under her belt, and the Miss Great Britain 2006 title too.  But this busty hottie lost the latter title in Vanessa Williams-like circumstances, due to posing for Playboy’s December 2006 issue.  Oh, and for going out with one of the judges of the pageant before she joined, and not telling anyone about it.

She’s also a true-blue reality show star, being one of the notorious group that bullied Shelpa Shetty in the Celebrity Edition of Big Brother in 2007.  Bad press or not, that was still a whole lot of exposure for her, and it certainly hasn’t hurt the demand for her to be in the pages of men's magazines like Maxim and FHM, where she’s always ranked in the past few years.  With juggs like those, it’s only natural that she’s on those lists, especially since she’s had some work done on ‘em to bring them from 32AA to a ripe 32DD.  Yeah, you know that’s what we like about these chesty UK bombshells.  If you like ‘em as much as we do, you can check out a lot of them by clicking on this link, and you know that they’ll be nude and naughty, because that’s just what these cuties do, isn’t it?  (Oh yeah: Note to Heidi Montag, this is how you display your melons for the boys, ok?)

Alicia Keys is one of the sexiest, most sultry performers out there right now.  Her powerful and husky voice and beautiful face have got all the horndogs mesmerized, so how come these bikini photos snapped by the stalkerazzi somehow don’t do it for some people?  Well, as a fan, I’m still stoked about seeing Alicia in a bikini, but as other, more objective people have pointed out, there just isn’t enough sizzle here for the ordinary horndog looking for some hot jerk off material.

I guess Alicia Keys’ lack of ripe knockers just doesn’t appeal to some people, which is too bad for them.  I’m totally enjoying these photographs of Alicia as she relaxes by the poolside of some hotel, all the way down to the way she eats her snacks.  Sure, it’s a bit scary how she scarfs down those vittles like she’s really enjoying herself too much and you can just imagine her eating order after order until she blimps out into Klump-sized proportions, but really, wouldn’t you want to hang out with a hottie who’s got an appetite rather than some anorexic model who’ll just push her food around the plate?  (Just as long as it’s not Britney Spears, who’ll probably eat you up too, but not in the way you like.)  Yeah, so it might be showing a bit on her thighs, but she’s still one sexy hottie in my book.  Just check out that behind and forget about her titties by concentrating on her tush!

So for those who’re a bit underwhelmed by these Alicia Keys bikini photographs, you ought to check out this link, where you can see Alicia at her sexiest and raunchiest.  Maybe that’ll remind you why you’ve been drooling over this honey and buying her albums.  Yup, it’s because she’s beautiful and hot, and ok, talented too.  So forget the bad angle of these stalkerazzi shots and remember why Alicia is a babe by enjoying her dirty photographs and videos on that site.

Okay, even I’ve got to admit that Kim Kardashian’s looking pretty sizzling in these shots from her upcoming 2009 calendar.  She’s wearing delicious lingerie and showing off her bosomy assets, which is confusing, because doesn’t she know she’s known for her ass?  Her cleavage is mouthwatering in these pictures, though, and you almost forget that the only reason you follow reports about Kim Kardashian is for views of her sweet cushion that’s meant for some hard n’ fast pushin’.  Those ripe mammaries though, are looking mighty fine, so there’s no need to complain about getting served some breast meat instead of huge chunks of booty blubber.

What’s really mystifying about some of these calendar photos is how some of them are close-ups of Kim Kardashian.  Now who wants to look at Kim Kardashian’s face without seeing any of her cleavage or her ripe rear end?  Duh, no one, of course!  If I wanted to look at some girl’s a face on my calendar, I’d pick someone like Miranda Kerr, although any calendar hiding her body, or any cutie’s bod for that matter, probably has a gay art director.  So, with this offering we’ve got a calendar that men would only want to look at around half of the year, congrats Kim!

If you’d rather see Kim Kardashian’s smokin' hot bod rather than her face, and in naughty amorous action too (you know what I mean *cough* amateur sex video *cough*), then just check out this site instead of that calendar this New Year!

What is it about Jennifer Aniston and magazine covers that makes her shuck off her clothes whenever these publications want her to appear on one?  Of course they don’t have a 100% success rate in getting her to appear in the buff, but they do a good enough job that I want to know their secret.  I’m thinking of making a mock up of some articles and gluing on some images and ads, then stapling them together before showing up at her gate with a digicam to make a cover.  You think that’ll work?  Well, if not, there’s always this Jennifer Aniston naked GQ magazine cover to enjoy.

And believe me, these pictures are about the only thing you can enjoy about Jennifer’s appearance in this magazine, because her interview reads like one sarcastic, bitter tirade against Angelina Jolie and the way she snagged Brad Pitt away from her.  Okay, so she’s got a right to be mad at that luscious-lipped slut, but do we have to hear about it again and again?  I mean, last I heard, she was being reamed real good by John Mayer over and over, just the way she likes it, so as long as her clit’s satisfied, why can’t her other hole just keep shut?

I wish Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie would just kiss and make up.  Literally.  As in french kissing with lots of make up sex.  Now that would be a magazine cover that would outsell anything ever printed  in the history of mankind.  Don’t think that could happen?  Just look at these steaming hot Jennifer Aniston nudie pics.  She’s covering up her breasts but they’re still freakin’ hot, so most definitely, a carnal get-together with the Pitts would break records!

But hey, that’s a fantasy that doesn’t look to be coming true any time whatsoever.  Good thing there’s this site to go to when you’re in the mood for hot, raunchy Hollywood action that you can thoroughly wank off to until you’re satisfied.

Are the ratings for the 90210 sequel that bad?  Is AnnaLynne McCord so desperate for it to stay on the air that she has to stoop as low as this?  Just check out the two images posted here for comparison, and try not to recoil at the sight of that Heidi Montag PR stunt from a few months back.  Now why would a steaming hot hottie like AnnaLynne McCord try and cop something from a freakish, surgically-enhanced paparazzi-slut like Heidi Montag?  I mean, AnnaLynne’s got some talent at least, so she shouldn’t have to stoop so low as to try something from the Montag-Pratt bag of tricks.  That Satanic duo will do anything to give the paparazzi something to post on a slow news day, but Heidi Montag holding those melons in front of her rack was scraping the bottom of the barrel.  Even for them, whose barrel has no bottom that I know of yet.

And so now we have AnnaLynne McCord holding those cans in front of her juggs while at the supermarket like the other two were.  If you want to save your show that badly, all you have to do is give us another titty-popping moment, girl.  Even with juggs that can’t be as delicious as Heidi’s fake melons, you’ll have us eating out of the palm of your hand by showing those fresh, natural nips again.  But instead you’re flashing your “cans” in the supermart aisle like some reality show famewhore with nothing but gimmicks to sustain the public’s interest in her.  Okay, so maybe that’s no so far off from her situation on “90210“, but at least she doesn’t have a douchemaster like Spencer Pratt around to drag her down with his presence.  So chin-chin AnnaLynne, you’re a babe we’re still pulling for, as long as you don’t ever wind up with a grinning idiot like Pratt.  And show us your cans for real, like the kinky celebs on this site, while we’re still watching, why dontcha?

Now here’s a video that critics and Joe Sixpack can all agree is worth seeing.  Those film-school educated critics and the average horny dude on the street should go check out Darren Aronofsky’s “The Wrestler” when it comes out.  This gritty drama about a washed-up pro wrestler trying to reconnect with his teenage daughter (played by chick Evan Rachel Wood who’s now free from the clutches of the freaky Marilyn Manson), should tug at the heartstrings of those with a low testosterone count, while the rest of us can enjoy this movie for the shots it has showing Marisa Tomei’s titties!  Well, we certainly aren’t going to watch it to see Mickey Rourke wrestle, and besides, who wants to see Hollywood try and tell us again that pro wrestling’s fake and everything’s staged?  Shocking, I know.  But that’s what ‘em liberal media-types think.  Hulk Hogan ought to set ‘em straight, y’know?  I’d rather watch a real rasslin’ show than this, if they didn’t have those tit shots and stripping scenes of Marisa Tomei!

Just check out these screencaps and tell me watching Marisa Tomei gyrate onscreen before taking off her top isn’t worth the price of admission!  Can’t do it, huh?  She’s around 40 already but still scorching hot, and she’s already on my list of fave showbiz stars who’ve played strippers.  Would you just look at that tight, hot body she’s still got.  And those bosoms aren’t half bad!  You wouldn’t know she had such juicy twin peaks from watching her in her other movies.  I guess you want to see more of those juggs now that you know they’re so nice, huh?  Well, you can do that on this site, so click on that link and see what else Marisa Tomei’s got for ya!

Come on, we all thought it was weird, wasn’t it?  Not that hooking up with Marilyn Manson wasn’t bizarre enough.  But with Manson’s ex-wife being Dita Von Teese, when Evan Rachel Wood started showing up at movie events dressed in black, with her hair dyed black and styled in classic pin-up girl style, we all thought it was more than just kinda grotesque.  And no, it wasn’t because he was a late 30-ish Satanic rocker and she was a 19-year old Hollywood ingenue.  Hey, hooking up with a young hottie’s our fantasy too, right?

But trying to look like your boyfriend’s ex is just too loser-ish for a hottie like Evan Rachel.  We know she can do better than that!  Well, now that they’ve broken up, guess who’s a bright summer's day once again?  Take a look at the all-new Evan Rachel Wood — same as the last all-new Evan Rachel Wood, but with less absinthe!  With “The Wrestler”, starring Mickey Rourke, generating a lot of buzz, it looks like her career hasn’t been hurt by her association with the Antichrist Superstar himself.  Of course, if you’re into goth chicks, then this probably isn’t a change that you’ll enjoy from Evan Rachel Wood.

Well, there’s always this site to check out, where you can still get wood from watching her do naughty, nasty things that Marilyn Manson probably thought up!  Hell, even if you’re into her more bright and sunshiney look, you’ll enjoy her here!

Hey wait, wasn’t she a regular at the rehab center just a few months ago?  And isn’t Samantha Ronson supposed to be watching out for her?  Well, I guess that their recent fight after Samantha Ronson caught her dancing with her ex, Calum Best has taught Ronson that a wasted and inebriated Lindsay Lohan is much easier to keep close than a fully sober one.  With Lindsay’s recent interview that she wasn’t really a lesbian, just in love with one, there was hope for all the horny dudes out there that Lindsay was geting tired of all that rug munching and finally jonesing for some boner.

With Lindsay and Sam’s deep girl on girl kiss here, then I guess we’re going to have to wait a bit longer.  Which is weird.  We should be cheering on hot celebrities to have even more sapphic escapades, but with Lindsay we just can’t wait for her to ditch this chick, because Ronson is just so creepy-looking and masculine that there’s just no lesbian heat at all for us when we see them together.  Anyway, here’s Lindsay mixing herself some Vodka and Red Bulls, with her loving girlfriend taking a break from her DJ set now and then to lock lips with her.  Awww… what a sweet couple.  If all this hurts your eyes and you just want to see some scorching photographs of Lindsay solo, or with a real guy, then just click on this link.  I know I will!