Hollywood Scanner Blog

Say what you will about walking biohazard Paris Hilton, but the girl has a head for business. Not monkey business, or business of giving head. I’m talking real, money-making business. So much so that she’s getting an award for one of her many business ventures. And before you say “Vivid for her porn vid!”, no. This one is actually legit.

Before she found residence in skankville, everyone wanted a piece of Paris. So she obliged with a clothing line, a bestselling memoir, a reality TV show, and “acting” parts in some high-profile projects. But one thing that really stood the test of scandals and slip-ups and crazy famewhoring was her perfume line. Who would have thought that wanting people to smell like her would lead to such a lucrative venture. And now, the perfume organization The Fragrance Foundation, or Fifi as it’s more affectionately called, is awarding her Celebrity of the Year for her contribution to the perfume industry. She beat out J.Lo, Britney, Posh, and other female celebrities who have released their own signature celeb scents.

What a great way to lift Paris’ spirits up after all the flack she’s been getting. Truth be told, she may be an idiot, but she really doesn’t know any better. She equates fame with being alive and, well, significant. And for someone who had pretty much everything she ever wanted her entire life, fame is the one thing money can’t buy. If anything, infamy is the only thing money can buy, and she’s got that in spades. So congratulations our favorite fame whore. You beat out all those other people who would never invite you to their high-class parties (well, except maybe Britney since they’re sort of on similar fields) and would throw you out of their club or resto the moment they find out you’re there. When you get your trophy or plaque of recognition, you can slap them all in the face with it screaming “Suck it!!” and walk away laughing. Just, don’t shove it in your pussy, please? Because you’ll be right back to zero.

But if it’s celebrities sticking things in their pussy is what you’re after, as well as some other hot and private star moments, check out this place and get your fill of the latest and best Hollywood scandals.

Turning her rail-thin back on carpet-munching forever (it seems), Lindsay Lohan spent a wild and crazy night with a bunch of dudes proving once and again that you can’t put a horny slut down. Yup, she was seen partying hard with a bunch of dudes and is now jumping from man to man hoping to score that one who would not only make her get her shit together, but give her the much-needed protein shake that she’s been missing all this time dating Samantha Ronson. Maybe now that she’s got a regular supply of sperm, she’ll get back a few pounds and not make her look like a concentration camp survivor.

Yup, she was seen recently looking as thin as usual and it’s only getting worse. And by worse I mean her boobs are finally feeling the burn. Known for her massive jugs, Lindsay has built a career out of them. And with the rumors of anorexia swirling around her, her breasts seemed to be unaffected. But lately her boobies have flattened out like someone let the air out of them, sagging down to her bellybutton it seems. Which is bad news for LiLo and her supposed foray into live, on-stage stripping. Who would want to pay good money to got a fancy Las Vegas hotel and watch some crack-addicted starlet bare her flat titties on stage. No one, that’s who. So hopefully she gets those babies back on track before they hit her knees.

And so, what can we expect out of our dear Miss Lohan now that she’s back on the straight and narrow (but for her hopefully curved and thick)? Maybe we’ll see her a bit happier from now on, a bit more satisfied. After all, it takes you missing something to know that’s what you really want. So this time away from the peen would help her re-evaluate her career, life plan, and spirituality. See, all the men of the world are right - the penis is a wonderful thing. And now that Lindsay is back on it, the world will be a much better place because of it. As wonderful as the wild and crazy celebs that you’ll find right here.

Ever since bursting onto the scene in the highly family-friendly and Christian right-wing skewing TV show 7th Heaven as the straight-laced yet wicked-hot eldest Camden daughter, people have been waiting for Jessica Biel to show her tits. Okay, when I say people, I mean me. And a few more of you out there, I’m sure. And finally, after 10 years, 157 episodes, and 16 movies, Jessica finally goes topless in a movie. Playing a stripper too. Looks like sweet and innocent Mary Camden has finally broken free of her bible-thumping past and embracing the sleaze within.

The flick is called Powder Blue, and before you get the lube and tissues ready, despite this topless stripping scene, it’s not meant to turn you on. Yup, it’s one of those “I’m a stripper, oh don’t you feel sorry for me?” type of films that just suck away all the horniness out of a scene. It’s a very serious drama where Jess gets nude several times. Aside from this stripping scene, there are a couple of sex scenes where she bares her ass and more. Looks like horny guys will be lining up to see this movie. I for one would rather just wait for the DVD so I can isolate these nude scenes and watch them over and over again. I’ll have to mute the film as well, as I really don’t really care about the story of the film. I just wanna see Jessica’s tittays.

And she’s getting a lot of good acclaim because of it. Not just her acting, but for the strip scene itself. Several bloggers and news orgs has praised her “natural ability” when it comes to naked dancing. One even went as far as saying she can do it professionally at a real Vegas strip club. Of course she can! She is fucking hot, and even if she just sits on a stool in the middle of the stage, shaking her knockers every few seconds with zero choreography she’ll still be a hit. And not just because she’s Jessica Biel. Famous or not, I’d pay good money to see her strip.

So take a gander at these extra hot screencaps and do with them as you will. All I know is that naked Biel is all I need to get me through life. As well as these hot Hollywood celebs giving us an eyefull, whether deliberate or not.

A while back, Jennifer Love Hewitt was photographed in a bikini at the beach looking something like the tide washed in after a tsunami and the whole world gawked and pointed and laughed at those pictures causing everyone to collectively say “What the fuck happened to her?!” I said the exact same thing when I saw her gelatinous cellulite, flabby arms, and pot belly. How could one of the hottest teen stars that became the object of every man’s fantasy because of her tight little body and perfect pert boobs allow to let herself go like that? Well, that was then, and these Maxim pics are now.

It only took her about over a year, but she made good on her promise of shedding 18 pounds and trying to get back to her old hot self. And that she did. And to celebrate-slash-presswhore her achievement, she’s plastered all over the pages of the May issue of Maxim gracing the cover and showing a lot of skin. Well, maybe not a lot but enough to let you see the difference.

Now, I know what you’re wondering - good dieting or good photoshopping? While the only way we can know for sure of the latter is if the unretouched photos get leaked online, but to be honest from that I can see, it looks legit. Several candid pics of her out and about have shown a decrease in her ass and thigh size, and her boobies look better than ever. I suppose getting it on with fellow Ghost Whisperer star Jamie Kennedy agrees with her since she looks awesome now. This is the Jennifer that I know. From Party of Five to those I Know What You Did Last Summer movies, she’s shows a rockin’ body and awesome boobies. She may have looked like a lumpy heffer in the past, but I think she’s gotten back at being the object of jack-offs by horny men everywhere. See more of hot Jennifer and other sexy celebs right here.

Kelly Brook is arguably one of the most fuckable women around. She’s got that womanly figure that looks good in and out of clothes. She looks awesome in a bikini. And she’s got a sweet yet slightly naughty face perfect for looking up at you while she gives you a blowjob. She’s been a staple of the British tabloids for quite some time and despite the fact that those papers do their best to find something cheap and trashy to write about her, they never seem to succeed since she carries herself in a classy manner. In a bikini frolicking on the beach, or attending a red carpet event dressed to the nines, or even in sweats in candid workout pics, you look at her and never think for one second this girl is cheap. Then… I saw these pics.

Taken in 2000 for the London premiere of the Guy Ritchie film Snatch, Kelly dressed like a two-dollar prostitute who got a gift certificate for a Bob Mackie gown and chose the skankiest outfit usually worn only during the ice skating event at the winter Olympics. Why on earth would she wear an outfit like this? Sure she’s got an awesome form and likes to show it off, but why would anyone in their right mind wear something like this deliberately. I almost feel like Kelly lost a bet or something and had to wear this fugly creation.

Granted this was 9 years ago, and her reputation of being a classy fashionista perhaps was years away. Maybe she took one look at these shots when they first came out and said “Oh my God, I look fucking ridiculous!!” and hence, the fashionista was born out of embarassment. So I guess it was a good thing that she wore this outfit and realized how bad she looked. See, everything happens for a reason - even really bad fashion choices. Hollywood is rife with those, and you can see them all here, along with celebrities caught in embarassing situations that almost never requires clothing.

On the heels of the LiLo-SamRo break-up that’s buzzing up the blogsphere these days, Jessica Simpson has inadvertently gotten in on the action. Yes, she got dumped. No, not by Tony Romo (although I’m certain a few football fans are praying for that to happen) but by her record label. Due to unsuccessful sales and poor concert attendance (and the fact that she looks like a Goodyear blimp now), Columbia Nashville and Sony Music Nashville has dropped her from the label, most probably ending Jessica’s music career forever.

It’s such a shame considering Jessica’s entire musical career was with Sony Music. Her debut CD Sweet Kisses (which spawned the hit I Wanna Love You Forever) sold a lot of copies and pretty much made a lot of money for the label. But I guess that was like 4 or 5 albums ago. And Jessica’s decision to go from Pop to Country without a smidgen of authenticity didn’t really work out for either party. Dating a Texas team football player doesn’t really give you country music cred, Jess.

So now, with her weight still an issue, her relationship rumored to be on the rocks, and her film career in absentia - Jess looks to be heading for Britney-level crazy anytime soon. But not if Lindsay Lohan gets there first. I don’t really know how this whole thing will pan out for Jessica, but I’d advise her to get her butt moving, get in the best shape on her life, and go naked in Playboy. I promise you it’ll be a real career recharger. Tiffany and Debbie Gibson did it, and look where they are now! Oh, wait…

Take this chance to get hot again, Jess. Just like you were in the pics and videos I found here, a place where Hollywood stars do not want you to go.

Hollywood’s “It” lesbian couple (as in “it” is drunk again, “it” is having a fight…) have taken a break from carpet-munching for a while to sort things out and re-evaluate their relationship. That would be Lindsay Lohan’s code for “I miss dick!”. After Lindsay was supposedly locked out of her and Sam’s house and a following screaming match that prompted the cops to arrive, speculation was that was pretty much the last straw. Everyone was waiting for the inevitable press-release that the relationship is no longer. The couple tried denying it at first, but eventually everyone’s suspicions were founded.

This was a long-time coming for the couple. When the news broke that LiLo was dating a woman, everyone accused her of being a fad-follower (apparently eating pussy is the in thing these days) and pretty much gave the two a very short shelf life. Pretty soon, the proverbial shit hit the fan and the press was inundated with reports of verbal spats, high drama, arguments, public displays of animosity - the everyone just lapped it up. People couldn’t get enough of their dysfunctional relationship, and yet somehow the two stayed together. What changed?

Well, for one thing LiLo has no money. She’s basically mooching off Sam since Sam actually works. Lindsay on the other hand hasn’t had a decent job in years. Second, try having a lesbian relationship where one of you is not a real lesbian under the intense pressure of paparazzi and the scathing, ready-to-ridicule world of bloggers and see if your relationship survives. All these elements including Lindsay’s already fucked-up personality really does equal pain and heartbreak. I’m not surprised that things turned out this way.

So, after all is said and done, Lindsay Lohan still has to face her life alone. She should just take everyone’s advice and just do porn. She’s got friends in the porn business, and I’m sure they’ve made numerous offers. She really can’t afford to be picky since she can’t act, can’t sing, lost whatever vestiges of normalcy in her, and has practically been naked in public. With her numerous pussy upskirts and nipple slips, she’s practically done porn. So until that day she says yes to getting fucked on camera, check this place out and see Lindsay Lohan in action.

When you go out for a night on the town, one usually dresses to the nines. But when you’re fame-hungry, talentless, and skanky Tila Tequila, that means the exact opposite. You dress down. Really down. To your underwear.

Yes, you heard me right. The plastic boobed one (or rather, two since there are two of them) thought to herself “Hey, it’s been a while since those bored bloggers with nothing better to do than to follow the exploits of famous people like me has written anything about me in their blogs. I know! I’ll step out tonight, wearing a sexy black blazer, and then as the paparazzi descends — surprise! I’m not wearing a dress! It’s perfect!! They’re gonna have a field day tearing me apart for this publicity stunt!”

And sad to say, she’s right.

What can I do but react? Granted she’s hot. However fake those tits are, they’re still attached to an awesome hard body. Plus she’s so tiny you could spin her around while she’s on top of you. Then there’s also the whole lesbian thing which just fucking gets me hard. How can you not react to someone like her, no matter how blatantly obvious her attention-whoring is.

So for now, I won’t say anything else that hasn’t already been said about these pics. I’m sure you’ve heard a million little quips about her, so I won’t even bother making one here. I’ll just take these pics and file them with the hundred others of Tila that just add to her being one of the most embarassing yet totally fuckable celebs this side of the Z-list. You can see those pics, along with a bunch of others, over here.

As the world of information changes every second, new technology is introduced to keep us better connected with the goings-on of the world. Up to the second news reports, real-time event details, even instant messaging of world oil prices. But trust stars to abuse technology just because they’re famous. Such a thing happened to Courtney Love who is being sued over defaming someone over Twitter.

According to a Reuters report “…clothes designer Dawn Simorangkir, also known as Boudoir Queen, filed suit against Love for defamation, invasion of privacy and infliction of emotional distress for ‘an extensive rant’ on Twitter about how she was billed for custom clothing. ‘Whether caused by a drug induced psychosis, a warped understanding of reality, or the belief that her money and fame allow her to disregard the law, Love has embarked (o)n what is nothing short of an obsessive and delusional crusade to terrorize and destroy Simorangkir, Simorangkir’s reputation and her livelihood,’ says the complaint”.

Trust Courtney Love who has long been hailed as Hollywood’s craziest bitch to use a seemingly harmless application and turn it into a weapon of insanity. With a mere 140 characters per Twitter entry, she found creative ways of ridiculing the designer by posting messages that read “oi vey don’t fuck with my wardrobe or you will end up in a circle of corched eaeth hunted til your dead.” Trust me, that sounds much more coherent in Courtney’s head. If only we could all live in it. Then again, maybe not.

The case is still in court and no proceedings have been scheduled, but Courtney’s pretty much being icognito in the meantime. A far cry from her wild and crazy antics that made headlines since her fall from super-hot actress/model/rock chick to, well… whatever she is now. Check out a lot of those crazy Courtney moments here and get an eyeful of insanity.