Hollywood Scanner Blog

No, they weren’t inside the tribunal at the same time. It is only after Chris Brown left when Rihanna came in. Avoiding drama much? I guess so. After everything that Rihanna went through this year–the beating, leaking of nude pics and alleged sextape, the Woody Woodpecker hair (the most painful, I know)–the jury thought Rihanna deserved to get her dignity intact. As if it wasn’t broken enough.

This whole hodge podge of events in Rihanna’s life sends across its moral to the entire world: It’s perfectly okay to beat your girlfriend because you won’t end up in jail. Chris brown plead guilty to beating Rihanna, where he punched and choked her. And the verdict? TMZ reports, “He’ll spend 180 days doing community labor… He gets 5 years probation for FELONY assault… He’ll get supervised probation. He’ll have to come back to court every three months. He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program. If Brown violates probation, he could get up to 4 years in prison. Brown is now a convicted felon and loses the the following rights: To own a gun, to sit on a jury, subject to search and seizure without a search warrant and he now has limitations on travel.”

Oh, wow. He doesn’t deserve such harsh penalty, does he? How victorious this conflict ended up for Rihanna! Now she get to brag and testify how perfect our justice system is and be completely at peace now that her beater can walk free (but if Rihanna’s around, he should stay at least 50 yards away from her). Oh shit, how many wrongs can you read in this paragraph??

By the way, check out this place here for a complete run through of Rihanna’s tragic year.

Let’s face it. Though Michelle Williams is a great actress, she’s not that much of a bombshell so the reporters are more drawn to her daughter Matilda Rose than her. She has starred in various movies and even in Dawson’s Creek, alongside Katie Holmes. But Matilda’s mom has become famous only after Brokeback Mountain, which lead her to numerous acting nominations, including the Golden Globe and Academy Awards. Not to mention she became the wife, now widow, of the late Heath Ledger. But after a while things went monotonous again for the actress. Even her divorce with Heath didn’t make that much of a scene.

But things spiked up again during the release of her film Incendiary, which she stars along with Ewan McGreggor. Not only it has a creepy correspondence with Heath Ledger’s death, (the film, which is about a mother who lost her son in a suicide bombing incident, was released at approximately the same time Heath Ledger died); the film also shows Michelle in most scenes wearing tiny and skimpy denim skirt, looking like a hot and sexy MILF, giving the sleazy Paris Hilton a run for her money.

But the thing that made Michelle Williams and this film a hot topic is Michelle’s topless bed scenes with Ewan. Man is that hot or something! I haven’t seen the film itself but after seeing these still shots of the fuck scene, I’ll go get myself a copy and watch it over and over. Maybe, that particular scene first, then the whole movie. Well who knows Michelle Williams can be this fucking hot? To see more of her hotness, visit this place and get your dose of Hollywood sexy celebs.

You see them hanging on the wall of practically every mechanic’s garage (or so the movies have made us believe). They’re usually grease-covered and a couple of years old. And they almost always look cheap, featuring big-boobed models named Amber, or Tiffany, if they have names at all. I am talking about every sexually potent straight man’s best friend - the naked calendar. For 365 days they give us pleasure beyond our wildest dreams. Yet they have always been the subject of ridicule and disgust by most moral (read: prudes) and conservative (read: ugly) people who view it as exploitation and sexualization of the human body. For the past sixty odd years, one company’s calendar has been trying to change the idea of the nude calendar, and it must be working because not only has Oscar winners, athletes, and acclaimed models dropped trou for this calendar, but it has also become one of the most acclaimed and most-awaited collection of images that celebrate the beauty of the female form. I am talking about The Pirelli Calendar.

For the past years, everyone from Sienna Miller to Sofia Loren to supermodels Kate Moss and Alessandra Ambrosio have been featured. For next year’s salvo, they will feature a bevy of hot supermodel babes including (but not limited to) Ana Beatriz Barros, Rosie Huntington-Whitley, and Miranda Kerr. Yes, the celebrated models of today will be going topless for photographer Terry Richardson who is now my God. Any man who can convince women as hot as these to bear their tits for him has most definitely got the golden touch (imagine how he is at bars!) They’ve already begun shooting the nude and topless calendar photos with a sort of a jungle theme, complete with reptiles, primates, and bugs. So not only will these women be naked, they’ll have an assortment of creatures splayed all over their bodies while frolicking in the jungle. God, I hope they brought some neo-sporen.

So expect the calendar to be out some time in October, or maybe even earlier - just in time for your Christmas shopping. I for one wouldn’t mind seeing naked Miranda, Ana, and Rosie stuffed in my stocking. Expect it to be chock full of boobies, butts and babes. Not bad for a company that began selling tires. Definitely something I would never expect from a company like that. And with it’s reputation for calendars with artistic nudes, along with it’s illustrious history, it apparently is an honor to be picked to appear in the calendar since the talent behind the pics is renowned. Everyone from Anni Liebowitz to Bruce Webber has photographed for the calendar. Me personally, I could give a shit about the artsy side of it. Bring on the supermodel boobies! Just like the ones you’ll find right here.

Having appeared naked as the day she was born (because apparently, she was born with a string of pearls), Kim Kardashian knows what it’s like to pose for skin magazine Playboy. She did a pictorial back in 2007 as a ratings booster for her then-brand new reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and true enough a lot of people tuned in to that episode and eventually ensured the success of future seasons of the show. The pictorial did not only boost ratings for the reality program, but the magazine almost made Kim a superstar sex-symbol post-sex tape. And now, even though she has no sex tape and has a successful (albeit totally irritating) reality show to her credit, Heidi Montag is going to appear in the magazine as well despite early reservations about doing the shoot. And since Kim and Heidi are such good friends (yes, I am being sarcastic), Kim was more than happy to give Heidi some advice.

Her words of wisdom to Heidi? “Go for it. I think that now’s the time,  think it’s a very classy magazine. It’s artsy. I talked her through the whole process and helped her make up her mind.” 31 words from Miss Big Ass herself and Blondie Bitch is gonna take her clothes off for a magazine. Kim should become a spiritual guru or something with her powers of persuasion. To convince a self-confessed Jesus Freak to drop trou for a magazine where billions of horny maniacs will jack-off to her is nothing short of impressive. She should be a diplomat too, convince warring states and countries to stop fighting by simply spouting “We are all brothers and sisters and we should all just love each other” and pout while wearing a very low cut dress. George W. Bush would have ended his war in Afghanistan long ago if he sent, not millions of US soldiers, but Kim Kardashian.

So, we can look forward to seeing Heidi’s plastic rack and surgically enhanced body and face in an upcoming Playboy issue. But according to Heidi, she isn’t planning on showing anything. No nipples, no ass, and certainly no pussy. Those things are reserved for her husband and God’s eyes only. But I think that it Kim convinces her a bit more, she might even jump from Playboy and do a full-on hardcore sticking-things-in-her-cunt Hustler issue. Who knows, Kim Kardashian might be just that good. Until then, check out this place to see some pretty interesting (read: Hot) pics of Heidi, Kim, and a bunch of other hot Hollywood celebs.

One is the barrier-breaking lesbian lead singer of popular rock band The Gossip, the other is record-breaking faux-lesbian pop singer who had a huge hit about kissing women. One is super hot sexy, the other… well, let’s just say she’s somewhat horizontally challenged. Get ready for the battle of the century as “I Kissed A Girl” singer Katy Perry and The Gossip lead singer Beth Ditto are in a word war over lesbianism, pop music, and all-around artistic packaging. It all began when Beth, in an interview with Attitude magazine said “I hate Katy Perry! She’s offensive to gay culture, I’m so offended. She’s just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all.” She calls Perry a “boner dyke” which is basically a straight woman playing carpet-muncher to give guys a woody. And the hardcore lesbo is none too happy about it.

When word reached Katy about Beth’s scathing comments, she had this to say: “I heard that she said something about me. I don’t want to get into a slanging war with anybody, so I don’t want to say anything bad about her. But I’m not impressed. I’ve learned in the past year that one artist should never insult another artist’s music — it’s tacky. And with me, it always comes back to bite me on the arse!” So obviously Katy doesn’t want to get into any kind of feud with the singer for fear of having her get sat on. Or something like that. But like Katy said (and I agree to some degree), it’s tacky to call someone out on their art without looking at the context. If Beth should be mad at anyone, it should be washed-up pop singer Cathy Dennis who actually wrote the song. We don’t hear her saying anything bad about that redhead.

So, bottom line, I think Beth just wants to get into Katy’s pants. Yes, she is after all a vadge-licker. Who wouldn’t want to get a piece of Katy? All that pent up sexual tension has to be released somehow and the best way for that is through some hardcore humping. Although, to be perfectly honest, I would lose whatever respect I have left for Katy if she went ahead and tapped that. I mean, the image… I’m not being sizeist, but lets call a spade a spade. But if Katy did, she should write a song about it and call it “I Porked a Pork and I Loathed It”. I see dollar signs already. See a lot more of your favorite celebrities right here.

She went from stick-thin with no breasties when she started, then curvy with fake boobies towards the middle of her career, then big and busty with quarelling breasties a couple years back, slimmed down for her last album release that made a People Magazine cover, and now singer/actress/yo-yo dieter Mariah Carey is back to being a heffer. Yup, after asking people to Touch Her Body, it seems that now there is a lot more to touch. According to reports, in the midst of recording her next CD (barfly entitled Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel) she has gained twenty pounds that people can clearly see from her many many photo ops and red carpet appearances. She now looks even more drag-a-licious than ever bordering on looking like a linebacker. But that’s not Mariah’s biggest concern right now.

She’s gotten a bit of bad luck with her movie career (or lack thereof) because her latest barfest Tenesse made a mere seven hundred dollars in it’s opening weekend. Seven hundred! With the amount of money she spends on her Hello Kitty collection you’d think she would fork over a few thousand more to buy tickets to her own movie. Just like what Beyonce supposedly did for her movie Obsessed and ended up being the number one movie of that weekend. Mariah clearly doesn’t know how to get ahead in the movie business. That makes the fifth consecutive big-screen dud for Mariah. The Bachelor, Glitter, Wise Girls, and State Property 2 being her previous “films”. You would think she’d get a clue by now. She may have better luck with her next film, the Sundance-winning drama Push: Based on the Novel by Sapphire which will be released in November.

So while she’s packing on the pounds and making movies that flop, Mariah is still keeping busy with trying to make more radio-friendly music. Now that E=MC2 failed to reach expectations, she’s hoping her next release will bring her more luck. And for that, she knows she can’t be a fatty. So she’ll go on some kind of crash diet (read: bulimia) before the album is released so she’ll be airbrush-ready by the time it comes out. After all, it would be pretty difficult to photoshop an entire music video. And with the way she’s proud of her chi-chis, I doubt she’s want an entire vid where we just see her face. So let’s await the return of Mariah - bulimia and all. Until then, check out some hot Hollywood honeys doing dirty deeds right here.

It seems like part-time lesbian Lindsay Lohan is not really over her little “phase” because she’s been hopping all over London following ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson around like a lovesick puppy (or an irritating gnat - whichever you prefer) asking, begging even, for her to lick her cunt once again. Methinks no man has ever made her cum as loud as she has with the magic carpet-munching abilities of SamRo. So she’s doing the age-old tactic that has worked for so many men in the past like Bundy, Gacey, and Dahmer - stalking! In one night, Lindsay went to two clubs and several after-hours just tailing Samantha and her brother, DJ Mark Ronson, while keeping a little distance but clearly shadowing their every move. And SamRo is more than a little ticked off.

Since their break-up almost two months ago, LiLo and SamRo have been having a difficult time ending things officially. Lindsay has been frequently photographed leaving Sam’s house in the wee hours of the morning - clearly spending the previous night there - which leads people to believe there’s still something going on between them. Then there’s the feeble attempts at making Sam jealous by hooking up with man after man after man - hoping the paparazzi would publish photos and bloggers would write about her heterosexual exploits making Sam jealous. But even with those stunts, Samantha has stood her ground and denied her, saying the paparazzi pressure and LiLo’s wild child behavior is just way too much for her. But like any loyal dog that loves it’s master, Sam still accommodates Lindsay’s reconciliatory attempts.

So, what’s the two to do now? If Samantha is solid in her statement about not wanting Lindsay back, then this just makes LiLo a cheap, desperate, vagina-loving whore who can’t take no for an answer. But if LiLo is getting a vibe that Sam still wants to tap that but feigns interest, then that makes Samantha a cold-hearted lesbian bitch. If you ask me, these two deserve each other. The Fauxmosexual and the Dyke. Sounds like a Showtime series waiting to happen. If TLC ever gets tired of that Jon & Kate shit, there’s a goldmine waiting in the snatches of these two. Better sign them up before someone else does. See more of this crazy duo and other hot Hollywood celebs right here.

One is a once-hot box-office draw, the other a once-hot music superstar. Two entities from completely different backgrounds that shouldn’t have anything in common, but in the small world of Hollywood, degrees of separation will surprise you. So small in fact that one is bound to come in contact with their most hated person. One such thing happened between Oscar-nominated actress Kate Hudson and Grammy-winning music superstar Madonna. Now, what possible thing would these two very different gals have in common? Well, what most Hollywood sluts have in common - sucking the same peen. And the peen in question? Beleaguered baseball star Alex Rodriguez.

Yup, if you will remember, Madge ran up a shitstorm when she was linked to then married A-Rod, causing the athlete to split from his wife leading people to believe that the queen of pop was the cause of the break-up. Then Madge dumped A-Rod for her boy (and I mean that literally) of the moment Jesus Luz. So what’s a divorced, athletically troubled athlete to do in difficult times? Hook up with one of Hollywood’s hottest actresses today - enter Goldie Hawn’s spawn. The two are now rumored to be seeing each other (read: fucking) yet they have yet to confirm this. Then, at the recent Polo Classic weekend, Kate was enjoying the festivities, sitting in the front row with her wide-brimmed hat when she heard someone mention that Madonna was in the same vicinity and was headed for the front row as well. Thinking that the 50 year-old singer would claw her eyes out, or at least say something bitchy like “I didn’t know you liked left-overs…”, Kate bolted from the front row and was never seen or heard from the entire time. Sure enough Madonna arrived, kids in tow (yes, that includes Jesus) and everyone forgot about the newly-brunette celeb.

So, what is the big deal? First off, Madge dumped A-Rod. A-Rod hurt real bad and only naturally sought solace with someone else. So if his ex crossed paths with his current, the ex has no right to get snippy, especially if the ex did the dumping. I’m sure Kate knew that, but ran away anyway. Which leads me to believe one thing - Kate is a pussy. Yup, she should have just stood (or in this case, sat) her ground and stayed put instead of speeding away like a rat. Sure Madge has 20 years and 2 million hours of yoga and pilates on Kate, but I think it’ll still be a fair fight. Now that’s one catfight I’d like to see. But until that does happen, check out this place here to see some of Hollywoods hottest battle it out for your attention.