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Turning her rail-thin back on carpet-munching forever (it seems), Lindsay Lohan spent a wild and crazy night with a bunch of dudes proving once and again that you can’t put a horny slut down. Yup, she was seen partying hard with a bunch of dudes and is now jumping from man to man hoping to score that one who would not only make her get her shit together, but give her the much-needed protein shake that she’s been missing all this time dating Samantha Ronson. Maybe now that she’s got a regular supply of sperm, she’ll get back a few pounds and not make her look like a concentration camp survivor.

Yup, she was seen recently looking as thin as usual and it’s only getting worse. And by worse I mean her boobs are finally feeling the burn. Known for her massive jugs, Lindsay has built a career out of them. And with the rumors of anorexia swirling around her, her breasts seemed to be unaffected. But lately her boobies have flattened out like someone let the air out of them, sagging down to her bellybutton it seems. Which is bad news for LiLo and her supposed foray into live, on-stage stripping. Who would want to pay good money to got a fancy Las Vegas hotel and watch some crack-addicted starlet bare her flat titties on stage. No one, that’s who. So hopefully she gets those babies back on track before they hit her knees.

And so, what can we expect out of our dear Miss Lohan now that she’s back on the straight and narrow (but for her hopefully curved and thick)? Maybe we’ll see her a bit happier from now on, a bit more satisfied. After all, it takes you missing something to know that’s what you really want. So this time away from the peen would help her re-evaluate her career, life plan, and spirituality. See, all the men of the world are right - the penis is a wonderful thing. And now that Lindsay is back on it, the world will be a much better place because of it. As wonderful as the wild and crazy celebs that you’ll find right here.

Remember, once upon a time, when Lindsay Lohan first sprouted into hottie-ness, her massive boobs and curvy body was the fantasy of every hot-blooded male around? Her little laugh, sweet smile, and sexy innocence would just let your mind go to the most nastiest places? Her comic timing, her natural talent, her all-around likability that made you overlook the shortcomings of her acting ability? Remember that?

Instead now, we get this…

A hollow shell of this once happy and promising personality, completely consumed by the mass media, spiraling down into the world of tabloid shows, gossip columns, and bad-girl behavior. And now, as has been gossiped over for months on end, we see her like this. Or rather, what’s left of her. Is it the state of her career (bordering on zero) that’s making her do this to herself? The pressure to stay thin in Hollywood? Trying to catch up with her lesbian lover’s body (which is impossible, because I still believe that Sam Ronson is really a 14-year-old boy). Whatever the reason, it’s starting to look dangerous.

I’m sure a lot of you will agree with me when I say she actually looked better during her Mean Girls years. At least you had something to hold on to. She was wholesomely steamy, with just a hint of naughtiness. And, of course, those boobs. They were huge enough to get lost in. Where’d they go? Then there’s that sweet, plump ass that bounced playfully when she walked (or better yet, ran in slow motion). I mean, just look at the girl who played the villain in one of Lilo’s movies Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen Megan Fox who’s making tongues wag with her curvy hot body, landing on Sexiest Women lists around the world.

Seriously Lindsay, bring back the poundage. Go to Anorexics Anonymous, eat some cheescake, do some actually funny comedies and get back into the spotlight were you belong. In the meantime, you can check this out for other Lindsay Lohan scandals as well as other gossip heavy celebs.