Hollywood Scanner Blog

It’s been a babelicious week for all meat hounds out there, with all the bikini images of Victoria’s Secret models like Marissa Miller and Miranda Kerr that have been flooding the blogosphere for the past few days.  At first it was just one or two model sightings, and you wouldn’t think they were there for work as they seemed to just be having fun in the sand and surf.  You think there’s been some sort of heatwave in Model Land (yes, that’s an actual place) for these steamin' hot hotties to be hitting the beach so often and at the same time, but as it turns out, it seems there’s been a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot going on in the playground of the rich and famous that is St. Barts.  That’s kind of obvious with the latest pictures to leak out from that island, featuring Alessandra Ambrosio.  Here she is raising temperatures all across the world just by being so hot hot.  And why is this obviously a photoshoot?  Because of that freakin' huge bed that she’s leaning on right there on the edge of the surf.  I mean, what’s a big, wooden canopy bed with a Victoria's Secret supermodel attached to it doing out on the beach?  I mean aside from in my drunken flights of fancy at night (starring any and all Victoria’s Secret Angels, depending on how many bottles I’ve had).  But then, if I can fantasize about it, I’m sure there’s no shortage of rich men with vacation homes on the island that can actually set up something like that with these girls.  Or they can just walk down to the beach and watch the photoshoot.

Oh well, it’s not like I can make those dreams come true, which is why I just check out these smokin' models online at this site.  No need to be rich and famous to enjoy their nude bodies and naughty behavior over there, so everybody can go and check it out!

Looks like Amy Winehouse’s vacation in St. Lucia is going even better than anyone ever expected.  As seen in various reports over the past few days, her sex life’s going great guns, as she hooks up with attention-seeking bit player Joshua Bowman (Who?  See, I told you.), and now it looks like she’s training for some Celebrity Death Match tournament, or maybe even an invasion of Gaza or something.  Just like Jean Claude Van Damme, Amy is showing herself to be a limber little thing who can do full splits with ease.  Well, as anyone who’s been following Amy Winehouse’s scandal sheets knows (Yes, it’s an actual a career), Amy’s very good at spreading her legs, so the moves she’s being shown here by her martial arts sensei aren’t new to her.  Hell, even the upside-down position of her leg splits is probably something she’s done before in some naughty frenzy with her estranged partner Blake Fielder-Civil.

And speaking of Fielder-Civil, I’m sure he’s the one who’s going to get a taste of Amy’s newfound martial arts skillz.  He’s started divorce proceedings now after all those reports of her infidelities on the beautiful beaches of St. Lucia.  I bet she thought she was giving him some verbal karate chops with statements to the press like “When I’m with Josh I don’t need drugs to feel good because he makes me feel so amazing.  We just had sex… can’t you tell?”  Now she’s the one reeling from his legal assault, although I bet the line “Blake was rubbish in bed,” really hit him where it hurts.  Oh well, now that Amy’s one with the Matrix, she can use all her downloaded martial arts knowledge to pound him into the ground.  Then she can challenge Manny Pacquiao for the title of best pound-for-pound fighter next.

Well, we can only wish Amy Winehouse luck in her bid to get back in shape, so hopefully the next time she shows her ta tas, which you can see on this site, she won’t scare our balls into hiding.  Check out that site for other hot celeb content if Amy Winehouse’s juggs aren’t your thing, and that’s completely understandable.

Oh wow, it’s sexy Saphic Hollywood celeb Lindsay Lohan in a bikini!  It’s only right some American celeb show these Brits who’ve been baring their bodies on the beach how the other side does it.  Being a lesbian, Lindsay can represent ‘the other side’ twice!  But, here’s something that’s totally off-kilter and a bit surprising — these bikini pics of Lindsay just won’t turn you on!  No, there’s no Samantha Ronson hovering in the background like a zombie skeleton to frighten off your woodies with her creepy presence (and don’t forget to give double thanks she’s not here in a bikini too).  These LiLo pics just aren’t hot, though that may be hard to believe, because Lindsay is just too damn skinny in these pictures.  That’s not the body she bared in her nude Marilyn Monroe-inspired pictorial, or in any of her sizzling hot pictorials in the past.  That body looks more like it belongs in a Samantha Ronson pictorial.  But before DJ Sam gets all slap-happy at how much influence she has over Lindsay, she’d better think about the fact that soon their Sapphic sex sessions will be like Ronson making love with herself!  Now if she were as sexy as Pink in her doppelganger sex video, that’d be all right, but having two Samantha Ronsons in bed is something that even Samantha Ronson probably won’t be able to take.  I mean, I don’t know how Lindsay Lohan can take even one in between her legs.

Well, until Lindsay fills up somemore, here’s something to take away those memories of her saggy knockers.  Just click on it and enjoy, and hope this New Year’ll have a hotter Lindsay Lohan for us to jerk off to!