Hollywood Scanner Blog

Having appeared naked as the day she was born (because apparently, she was born with a string of pearls), Kim Kardashian knows what it’s like to pose for skin magazine Playboy. She did a pictorial back in 2007 as a ratings booster for her then-brand new reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and true enough a lot of people tuned in to that episode and eventually ensured the success of future seasons of the show. The pictorial did not only boost ratings for the reality program, but the magazine almost made Kim a superstar sex-symbol post-sex tape. And now, even though she has no sex tape and has a successful (albeit totally irritating) reality show to her credit, Heidi Montag is going to appear in the magazine as well despite early reservations about doing the shoot. And since Kim and Heidi are such good friends (yes, I am being sarcastic), Kim was more than happy to give Heidi some advice.

Her words of wisdom to Heidi? “Go for it. I think that now’s the time,  think it’s a very classy magazine. It’s artsy. I talked her through the whole process and helped her make up her mind.” 31 words from Miss Big Ass herself and Blondie Bitch is gonna take her clothes off for a magazine. Kim should become a spiritual guru or something with her powers of persuasion. To convince a self-confessed Jesus Freak to drop trou for a magazine where billions of horny maniacs will jack-off to her is nothing short of impressive. She should be a diplomat too, convince warring states and countries to stop fighting by simply spouting “We are all brothers and sisters and we should all just love each other” and pout while wearing a very low cut dress. George W. Bush would have ended his war in Afghanistan long ago if he sent, not millions of US soldiers, but Kim Kardashian.

So, we can look forward to seeing Heidi’s plastic rack and surgically enhanced body and face in an upcoming Playboy issue. But according to Heidi, she isn’t planning on showing anything. No nipples, no ass, and certainly no pussy. Those things are reserved for her husband and God’s eyes only. But I think that it Kim convinces her a bit more, she might even jump from Playboy and do a full-on hardcore sticking-things-in-her-cunt Hustler issue. Who knows, Kim Kardashian might be just that good. Until then, check out this place to see some pretty interesting (read: Hot) pics of Heidi, Kim, and a bunch of other hot Hollywood celebs.

It’s gotta be tough to be known as just someone’s sister. Forever living under someone’s shadow. Constantly waiting for your time to shine. Such a fate has befallen many a celebrity siblings. So is it no surprise that Kourtney Kardashian likes to hit the sauce way too much. Wouldn’t you do the same if your sister was gigantic-assed slutbag classless Kim Kardashian. I’d be needing a new liver by now.

Kourtney was photographed leaving My House club wobbling and slurring and looking pretty much hammered like there was no tomorrow. She needed to be escorted by an unnamed female companion because it looked like she was gonna fall over at any second. (On a side note, it looks like the female companion is trying to cop a feel of Kourtney’s boob)

Now, while I can only speculate what exactly Kourtney got drunk over, but I have a few ideas. Yes, she just split with her douchebag cheating boyfriend Scott Disick a short while ago and maybe she’s still hurting over that. She should still be, since she mentioned in recent interviews that she’ll stave off dating for a while. That asshole must’ve hurt her bad. Why would anyone wanna cheat on Kourtney? She’s so smokin’ hot! This Scott is a real asshole nobody moocher mediawhore who was just clearly using Kourtney for her celebrity.

Speaking of celebrity, it brings me to my next speculation: Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Yes, the new season has just started and, although it hurts me to say this, maybe it’s all just a publicity stunt. She’s probably not even drunk. Hey, it’s possible. Coupled with Kourtney’s appearance in Maxim this month, it’s perfect publicity. Although, if you ask me, stagerring out of a bar drunk is not the way to grab headlines. You gotta go big, scandalous. Like the things you’ll find here - celebrities caught in moments they do not wanna be seen in. Check it out.

Okay, even I’ve got to admit that Kim Kardashian’s looking pretty sizzling in these shots from her upcoming 2009 calendar.  She’s wearing delicious lingerie and showing off her bosomy assets, which is confusing, because doesn’t she know she’s known for her ass?  Her cleavage is mouthwatering in these pictures, though, and you almost forget that the only reason you follow reports about Kim Kardashian is for views of her sweet cushion that’s meant for some hard n’ fast pushin’.  Those ripe mammaries though, are looking mighty fine, so there’s no need to complain about getting served some breast meat instead of huge chunks of booty blubber.

What’s really mystifying about some of these calendar photos is how some of them are close-ups of Kim Kardashian.  Now who wants to look at Kim Kardashian’s face without seeing any of her cleavage or her ripe rear end?  Duh, no one, of course!  If I wanted to look at some girl’s a face on my calendar, I’d pick someone like Miranda Kerr, although any calendar hiding her body, or any cutie’s bod for that matter, probably has a gay art director.  So, with this offering we’ve got a calendar that men would only want to look at around half of the year, congrats Kim!

If you’d rather see Kim Kardashian’s smokin' hot bod rather than her face, and in naughty amorous action too (you know what I mean *cough* amateur sex video *cough*), then just check out this site instead of that calendar this New Year!

So it’s the owner of one of the hottest pairs of tits in Tinseltown Vs. the woman with the biggest, baddest booty on reality TV.  What a match!  Too bad it’s only for show, in the latest of the series of spoof movies to come from the makers of “Scary Movie” and almost all of the retarded sequels that came after.  Yes, it’s for the upcoming “Disaster Movie”, and Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer will have Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian clashing in a spoof of WWE Divas, with Carmen Electra having an extra challenge in trying to portray Angelina Jolie in “Wanted”.  Whew!  Is that an acting challenge, or what?  Why aren’t these people nominated during Oscar season?

Still, it’s Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra mashing their curvy bodies up against each other while wearing skimpy clothing, so it’s pretty much worth watching for only those parts.  That means you should just download it if you can.  And check out this link for even hotter scenes featuring both of them (separately though)…