Hollywood Scanner Blog

And all it takes is just a good make-up artist, a stylist, and Photoshop to make her look fabulous. And if she can do it, a little less sauce might also help. Here are pics of Lindsay Lohan channeling the Marilyn Monroe in her for a Vogue Magazine cover.

In an interview about the shoot, Lindsay said, “I would not judge the book by the covers. The meeting was great, the photographer was organized as if it were a movie, and I helped get me into the character. And looking at the hill of Hollywood dressed as Marilyn can not stop thinking that, despite everything, will eventually get where it is proposed.“

This is actually the first time in a long time since I’ve seen her look good and, well, not messed up. This Marilyn-inspired cover is actually the second time around she did this for a magazine. The first time was with New York mag where she modeled Marilyn Monroe’s “Last Sitting” photos, revealing her 90% bare body. Now if Lindsay just keeps doing this, and not just posing naked for the cameras, but keeping herself busy with REAL work, then she won’t be the apple of the eye/butt of jokes among the paparazzis. But on second thought, that’s what she really enjoys, isn’t it?

It seems like part-time lesbian Lindsay Lohan is not really over her little “phase” because she’s been hopping all over London following ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson around like a lovesick puppy (or an irritating gnat - whichever you prefer) asking, begging even, for her to lick her cunt once again. Methinks no man has ever made her cum as loud as she has with the magic carpet-munching abilities of SamRo. So she’s doing the age-old tactic that has worked for so many men in the past like Bundy, Gacey, and Dahmer - stalking! In one night, Lindsay went to two clubs and several after-hours just tailing Samantha and her brother, DJ Mark Ronson, while keeping a little distance but clearly shadowing their every move. And SamRo is more than a little ticked off.

Since their break-up almost two months ago, LiLo and SamRo have been having a difficult time ending things officially. Lindsay has been frequently photographed leaving Sam’s house in the wee hours of the morning - clearly spending the previous night there - which leads people to believe there’s still something going on between them. Then there’s the feeble attempts at making Sam jealous by hooking up with man after man after man - hoping the paparazzi would publish photos and bloggers would write about her heterosexual exploits making Sam jealous. But even with those stunts, Samantha has stood her ground and denied her, saying the paparazzi pressure and LiLo’s wild child behavior is just way too much for her. But like any loyal dog that loves it’s master, Sam still accommodates Lindsay’s reconciliatory attempts.

So, what’s the two to do now? If Samantha is solid in her statement about not wanting Lindsay back, then this just makes LiLo a cheap, desperate, vagina-loving whore who can’t take no for an answer. But if LiLo is getting a vibe that Sam still wants to tap that but feigns interest, then that makes Samantha a cold-hearted lesbian bitch. If you ask me, these two deserve each other. The Fauxmosexual and the Dyke. Sounds like a Showtime series waiting to happen. If TLC ever gets tired of that Jon & Kate shit, there’s a goldmine waiting in the snatches of these two. Better sign them up before someone else does. See more of this crazy duo and other hot Hollywood celebs right here.

Lindsay Lohan has had it tough. Actually, to say that would be a total understatement, wouldn’t it? Broke, dumped, washed-up, addicted… all the bad things that could happen to a Hollywood celebrity happened to her. And since she started out as a child performer, it happened to her way too soon. Blame the media if you will, but many child actors have turned out okay as grown-ups. It seems that those Hollywood horror stories about young actors in a downward spiral now has a face. Look up the phrase “Hollywood Casualty” in the encyclopedia and you’d likely see a picture of Lindsay right beside the entry. And now, to add another punchline to the joke that has become her life, LiLo has a new nickname - Dirty Girl. And we’re not just talking about her bout of snatch-eating or her embarrassing post drink binge walk to her car, I’m talking about real dirt and grime and mess in the place where she lives. Here’s the lowdown:

Police responded to a burglar alert at the Hollywood home of Lindsay, but when they got there there were no perps in sight. After the popo entered the premises, they saw the whole place was in disarray. The cops suspected the burglars were responsible for the mess, but upon further investigation discovered the mess to be not so recent. Basically the apartment has been like that for quite some time now. Which only means one thing - Lindsay likes to roll around in her own filth. You know, the way pigs do. Or hermits. After all, she’s too coked up out of her mind to, well, mind the mess around her. She probably enjoys frolicking with the dust bunnies, playing tag with the cockroaches, and constantly puts out food for the rats that infest her pad. After all, them outcasts need to stick together.

Meanwhile, Lindsay is doing her best to get back on the A-list horse by doing a small independent feature that may or may not require her to get naked. She’s set to star in the film The Other Side with fellow z-listers Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, and rock singers Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette. I know, this has got to be the strangest acting line-up in a movie ever. All that’s missing is Ed Asner and Joan Severance and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster. Expect this movie to hit big screens in 2010, or if it’ll succumb to the same fate as LiLo last movie Labor Pains, it’ll go straight to TV. I’m sure the Syfy channel will be very interested. And if you’re interested in seeing more of Lindsay and her many celeb blunders, head on over here.

Turning her rail-thin back on carpet-munching forever (it seems), Lindsay Lohan spent a wild and crazy night with a bunch of dudes proving once and again that you can’t put a horny slut down. Yup, she was seen partying hard with a bunch of dudes and is now jumping from man to man hoping to score that one who would not only make her get her shit together, but give her the much-needed protein shake that she’s been missing all this time dating Samantha Ronson. Maybe now that she’s got a regular supply of sperm, she’ll get back a few pounds and not make her look like a concentration camp survivor.

Yup, she was seen recently looking as thin as usual and it’s only getting worse. And by worse I mean her boobs are finally feeling the burn. Known for her massive jugs, Lindsay has built a career out of them. And with the rumors of anorexia swirling around her, her breasts seemed to be unaffected. But lately her boobies have flattened out like someone let the air out of them, sagging down to her bellybutton it seems. Which is bad news for LiLo and her supposed foray into live, on-stage stripping. Who would want to pay good money to got a fancy Las Vegas hotel and watch some crack-addicted starlet bare her flat titties on stage. No one, that’s who. So hopefully she gets those babies back on track before they hit her knees.

And so, what can we expect out of our dear Miss Lohan now that she’s back on the straight and narrow (but for her hopefully curved and thick)? Maybe we’ll see her a bit happier from now on, a bit more satisfied. After all, it takes you missing something to know that’s what you really want. So this time away from the peen would help her re-evaluate her career, life plan, and spirituality. See, all the men of the world are right - the penis is a wonderful thing. And now that Lindsay is back on it, the world will be a much better place because of it. As wonderful as the wild and crazy celebs that you’ll find right here.

Remember, once upon a time, when Lindsay Lohan first sprouted into hottie-ness, her massive boobs and curvy body was the fantasy of every hot-blooded male around? Her little laugh, sweet smile, and sexy innocence would just let your mind go to the most nastiest places? Her comic timing, her natural talent, her all-around likability that made you overlook the shortcomings of her acting ability? Remember that?

Instead now, we get this…

A hollow shell of this once vivacious and promising personality, completely consumed by the mass media, spiraling down into the world of tabloid shows, gossip columns, and bad-girl behavior. And now, as has been talked about for months on end, we see her like this. Or rather, what’s left of her. Is it the state of her career (bordering on zero) that’s making her do this to herself? The pressure to stay thin in Hollywood? Trying to catch up with her lesbian lover’s body (which is impossible, because I still believe that Sam Ronson is really a 14-year-old boy). Whatever the reason, it’s starting to look troubling.

I’m sure a lot of you will agree with me when I say she actually looked hotter during her Mean Girls years. At least you had something to hold on to. She was wholesomely steamy, with just a hint of naughtiness. And, of course, those jugs. They were huge enough to get lost in. Where’d they go? Then there’s that sweet, plump ass that bounced playfully when she walked (or better yet, ran in slow motion). I mean, just look at the girl who played the villain in one of Lilo’s movies Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen Megan Fox who’s making tongues wag with her curvy hot body, landing on Sexiest Women lists around the world.

Seriously Lindsay, bring back the poundage. Go to Anorexics Anonymous, eat some cheescake, do some actually funny comedies and get back into the spotlight were you belong. In the meantime, you can check this out for other Lindsay Lohan scandals as well as other gossip heavy celebs.

Oh wow, it’s luscious Saphic Hollywood celeb Lindsay Lohan in a bikini!  It’s only right some American media personality show these Brits who’ve been baring their bodies on the beach how the other side does it.  Being a lesbian, Lindsay can represent ‘the other side’ twice!  But, here’s something that’s totally weird and a bit surprising — these bikini shots of Lindsay just won’t turn you on!  No, there’s no Samantha Ronson hovering in the background like a ghastly gargoyle to scare your woodies with her creepy presence (and don’t forget to give double thanks she’s not here in a bikini too).  These LiLo pics just aren’t hot, though that may be hard to believe, because Lindsay is just too damn skinny in these pictures.  That’s not the body she bared in her naked Marilyn Monroe-inspired pictorial, or in any of her sizzling hot pictorials in the past.  That body looks more like it belongs in a Samantha Ronson pictorial.  But before DJ Sam gets all slap-happy at how much influence she has over Lindsay, she’d better think about the fact that soon their lesbo sex sessions will be like Ronson making love with herself!  Now if she were as smokin' as Pink in her doppelganger sex video, that’d be all right, but having two Samantha Ronsons in bed is something that even Samantha Ronson probably won’t be able to take.  I mean, I don’t know how Lindsay Lohan can stand having even one in between her legs.

Well, until Lindsay fills up somemore, here’s something to take away those memories of her saggy boobies.  Just click on it and enjoy, and hope this New Year’ll have a hotter Lindsay Lohan for us to spank the monkey to!

Hey wait, wasn’t she a regular at the rehabilitation center just a few months ago?  And isn’t Samantha Ronson supposed to be helping her get back on track?  Well, I guess that their recent tussle after Samantha Ronson caught her dancing with her ex, Calum Best has taught Ronson that a wasted and inebriated Lindsay Lohan is much easier to control than a fully sober one.  With Lindsay’s recent interview that she wasn’t really a lesbian, just in love with one, there was hope for all the horny dudes out there that Lindsay was geting tired of all that muff diving and finally jonesing for some man meat.

With Lindsay and Sam’s deep lesbian kiss here, then I guess we’re going to have to wait a bit longer.  Which is weird.  We should be cheering on hot celebrities to have even more lezzie escapades, but with Lindsay we just can’t wait for her to ditch this chick, because Ronson is just so creepy-looking and masculine that there’s just no lesbian heat at all for us when we see them together.  Anyway, here’s Lindsay mixing herself some Vodka and Red Bulls, with her loving partner taking a break from her DJ set now and then to give her a smooch.  Awww… what a sweet couple.  If all this hurts your eyes and you just want to see some sexy images of Lindsay solo, or with a real guy, then just click on this link.  I know I will!

Well, we know all about how Lindsay Lohan’s family is one big dysfunctional mess, but that doesn’t make it any less riveting when they start airing their dirty laundry in public again.  Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s father, is one big douchebag, as everyone knows.  He’s always looking for some attention and publicity, which I guess makes him an old and gray Spencer Pratt, but a lot less slippery.  Well, recently, he made some statements attacking Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian girlfriend, Samantha Ronson: “I’ve shut up about this long enough. Samantha is using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some Los Angeles DJ…”

He then went on to accuse Samantha of slipping drinks under the table to Lindsay and hoping that Lindsay realizes who the people using her are.  He also attacks his ex-wife Dina for knowing about this and not doing anything.  Well, he got his 15 minutes of fame again, and then Lindsay and Samantha fired back in their blogs, both of which turn the tables on him and accuse him of being the user, and of being a fame addict.  “This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item,” Lindsay goes on to say in her blog.

And right on cue, Michael Lohan fires back almost immediately, this time saying that he was only reacting to things that his ex-wife was telling him and that Dina Lohan is practically a two-faced bitch who’s just trying to get on Lindsay’s good side while complaining to him about Samantha behind their backs.  “She’s gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie,” he complained. “Who’s out of control?”  Well, now we really see what he’s really concerned about, eh?  Like he’s going to see a dime of that.

What’s interesting here though, is that Samantha’s and Lindsay’s blog entries look so alike in the way they’re typed out, like only one person wrote both retorts against Mr. Lohan.  Interesting, huh?  Click here for more scandals from the Lohan family!