Hollywood Scanner Blog

You see them hanging on the wall of practically every mechanic’s garage (or so the movies have made us believe). They’re usually grease-covered and a couple of years old. And they almost always look cheap, featuring big-boobed models named Amber, or Tiffany, if they have names at all. I am talking about every sexually potent straight man’s best friend - the naked calendar. For 365 days they give us pleasure beyond our wildest dreams. Yet they have always been the subject of ridicule and disgust by most moral (read: prudes) and conservative (read: ugly) people who view it as exploitation and sexualization of the human body. For the past sixty odd years, one company’s calendar has been trying to change the idea of the nude calendar, and it must be working because not only has Oscar winners, athletes, and acclaimed models dropped trou for this calendar, but it has also become one of the most acclaimed and most-awaited collection of images that celebrate the beauty of the female form. I am talking about The Pirelli Calendar.

For the past years, everyone from Sienna Miller to Sofia Loren to supermodels Kate Moss and Alessandra Ambrosio have been featured. For next year’s salvo, they will feature a bevy of hot supermodel babes including (but not limited to) Ana Beatriz Barros, Rosie Huntington-Whitley, and Miranda Kerr. Yes, the celebrated models of today will be going topless for photographer Terry Richardson who is now my God. Any man who can convince women as hot as these to bear their tits for him has most definitely got the golden touch (imagine how he is at bars!) They’ve already begun shooting the nude and topless calendar photos with a sort of a jungle theme, complete with reptiles, primates, and bugs. So not only will these women be naked, they’ll have an assortment of creatures splayed all over their bodies while frolicking in the jungle. God, I hope they brought some neo-sporen.

So expect the calendar to be out some time in October, or maybe even earlier - just in time for your Christmas shopping. I for one wouldn’t mind seeing naked Miranda, Ana, and Rosie stuffed in my stocking. Expect it to be chock full of boobies, butts and babes. Not bad for a company that began selling tires. Definitely something I would never expect from a company like that. And with it’s reputation for calendars with artistic nudes, along with it’s illustrious history, it apparently is an honor to be picked to appear in the calendar since the talent behind the pics is renowned. Everyone from Anni Liebowitz to Bruce Webber has photographed for the calendar. Me personally, I could give a shit about the artsy side of it. Bring on the supermodel boobies! Just like the ones you’ll find right here.

It’s been a babelicious week for all meat hounds out there, with all the bikini images of Victoria’s Secret models like Marissa Miller and Miranda Kerr that have been flooding the blogosphere for the past few days.  At first it was just one or two model sightings, and you wouldn’t think they were there for work as they seemed to just be having fun in the sand and surf.  You think there’s been some sort of heatwave in Model Land (yes, that’s an actual place) for these steamin' hot hotties to be hitting the beach so often and at the same time, but as it turns out, it seems there’s been a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot going on in the playground of the rich and famous that is St. Barts.  That’s kind of obvious with the latest pictures to leak out from that island, featuring Alessandra Ambrosio.  Here she is raising temperatures all across the world just by being so hot hot.  And why is this obviously a photoshoot?  Because of that freakin' huge bed that she’s leaning on right there on the edge of the surf.  I mean, what’s a big, wooden canopy bed with a Victoria's Secret supermodel attached to it doing out on the beach?  I mean aside from in my drunken flights of fancy at night (starring any and all Victoria’s Secret Angels, depending on how many bottles I’ve had).  But then, if I can fantasize about it, I’m sure there’s no shortage of rich men with vacation homes on the island that can actually set up something like that with these girls.  Or they can just walk down to the beach and watch the photoshoot.

Oh well, it’s not like I can make those dreams come true, which is why I just check out these smokin' models online at this site.  No need to be rich and famous to enjoy their nude bodies and naughty behavior over there, so everybody can go and check it out!