Hollywood Scanner Blog

You see them hanging on the wall of practically every mechanic’s garage (or so the movies have made us believe). They’re usually grease-covered and a couple of years old. And they almost always look cheap, featuring big-boobed models named Amber, or Tiffany, if they have names at all. I am talking about every sexually potent straight man’s best friend - the naked calendar. For 365 days they give us pleasure beyond our wildest dreams. Yet they have always been the subject of ridicule and disgust by most moral (read: prudes) and conservative (read: ugly) people who view it as exploitation and sexualization of the human body. For the past sixty odd years, one company’s calendar has been trying to change the idea of the nude calendar, and it must be working because not only has Oscar winners, athletes, and acclaimed models dropped trou for this calendar, but it has also become one of the most acclaimed and most-awaited collection of images that celebrate the beauty of the female form. I am talking about The Pirelli Calendar.

For the past years, everyone from Sienna Miller to Sofia Loren to supermodels Kate Moss and Alessandra Ambrosio have been featured. For next year’s salvo, they will feature a bevy of hot supermodel babes including (but not limited to) Ana Beatriz Barros, Rosie Huntington-Whitley, and Miranda Kerr. Yes, the celebrated models of today will be going topless for photographer Terry Richardson who is now my God. Any man who can convince women as hot as these to bear their tits for him has most definitely got the golden touch (imagine how he is at bars!) They’ve already begun shooting the nude and topless calendar photos with a sort of a jungle theme, complete with reptiles, primates, and bugs. So not only will these women be naked, they’ll have an assortment of creatures splayed all over their bodies while frolicking in the jungle. God, I hope they brought some neo-sporen.

So expect the calendar to be out some time in October, or maybe even earlier - just in time for your Christmas shopping. I for one wouldn’t mind seeing naked Miranda, Ana, and Rosie stuffed in my stocking. Expect it to be chock full of boobies, butts and babes. Not bad for a company that began selling tires. Definitely something I would never expect from a company like that. And with it’s reputation for calendars with artistic nudes, along with it’s illustrious history, it apparently is an honor to be picked to appear in the calendar since the talent behind the pics is renowned. Everyone from Anni Liebowitz to Bruce Webber has photographed for the calendar. Me personally, I could give a shit about the artsy side of it. Bring on the supermodel boobies! Just like the ones you’ll find right here.

Katy Perry’s been in the scandal sheets recently because of her break up with boyfriend Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes, and  because of some scorching bikini pics.  But this nude selfpic is one even sexier and and more scandalous find, and it doesn’t seem to be one of those photoshop jobs that some sites put out.  Still, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so why not just feast your eyes on this steamin' hot photograph of what looks like Katy Perry taking a nude self pic of herself in front of a bathroom mirror.  Now that’s something that looks like it belongs in an amateur teen porn site, but here it is for your lusty pleasure, because from what my eyes are telling me, and everyone else with a Hollywood blog out there — that’s Katy Perry doing something really, really naughty.  Of course it’s got to be from a few years ago, because she isn’t as slim as she is in her bikini pics, which should be just about right for that era, before all the constant touring and pressure to keep slim.  Maybe it was even taken right before her transition to mainstream pop, after she put her Christian gospel album out.  Now that would make this pic even hotter!  A Christian taking butt naked mirror pic of herself is definitely a dirty fantasy we can all get into.  “I Kissed A Girl” + Christianity + a nude selfpic = a sizzling hot chicken choking session for all the horny dudes out there with a little imagination and a yen for perversion, I think.

If you’re looking for even more Katy Perry perversions and further proof that she’s capable of this naughty scandal, you can check out this site and see Katy at her horniest.  Yes, even hornier than this pic, I think.  Now wouldn’t that be something to see?

What is it about Jennifer Aniston and magazine covers that makes her shuck off her clothes whenever these publications want her to appear on one?  Of course they don’t have a 100% success rate in getting her to appear in the buff, but they do a good enough job that I want to know their secret.  I’m thinking of making a mock up of some articles and gluing on some images and ads, then stapling them together before showing up at her gate with a digicam to make a cover.  You think that’ll work?  Well, if not, there’s always this Jennifer Aniston naked GQ magazine cover to enjoy.

And believe me, these pictures are about the only thing you can enjoy about Jennifer’s appearance in this magazine, because her interview reads like one sarcastic, bitter tirade against Angelina Jolie and the way she snagged Brad Pitt away from her.  Okay, so she’s got a right to be mad at that luscious-lipped slut, but do we have to hear about it again and again?  I mean, last I heard, she was being reamed real good by John Mayer over and over, just the way she likes it, so as long as her clit’s satisfied, why can’t her other hole just keep shut?

I wish Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie would just kiss and make up.  Literally.  As in french kissing with lots of make up sex.  Now that would be a magazine cover that would outsell anything ever printed  in the history of mankind.  Don’t think that could happen?  Just look at these steaming hot Jennifer Aniston nudie pics.  She’s covering up her breasts but they’re still freakin’ hot, so most definitely, a carnal get-together with the Pitts would break records!

But hey, that’s a fantasy that doesn’t look to be coming true any time whatsoever.  Good thing there’s this site to go to when you’re in the mood for hot, raunchy Hollywood action that you can thoroughly wank off to until you’re satisfied.

If you don’t know who Emily Parr is, then you’re just not a fan of UK reality TV.  She’s been one of the housemates on Big Brother, the hit UK reality show where ordinary people are made to live in Big Brother’s house with no contact with the outside world for the length of their stay there.  And Emily Parr has been one of the hottest housemates there, even though she was booted out early.  It wasn’t through audience votes though, but because of a racially offensive word she used when joking around while dancing with another housemate.  Well, this 19-year old drama student still got some exposure at least, and now she’s following in the steps of other hot housemates of the past by posing for risque UK mags.  Here she is in Nuts magazine, where she had a nude glamour pictorial, and even better, here’s an upskirt pic for those who like their view of her privates to be more real!

We think she’s a cutie, and I’m sure you do too, which is why we’re recommending this link to see more of her…

Mena Suvari had better find the right vehicle to get her back on top, quick.  It’s been a while since she mesmerized everyone with her nude role in “American Beauty”, and it looks like her latest film isn’t going to be the one to resuscitate her career, despite another round of her showing her tits.

“Stuck” is a film from Stuart Gordon, better known for the cult-horror film “Re-Animator”, and it’s about a woman who runs over a homeless man and drives home with him stuck in her windshield, where she decides to just let him die.  It actually had a limited run in 2 theaters, where it grossed $10,200, and is now being released straight-to-video instead.

Those are not good box office returns, but maybe business will pick up with those DVDs when guys learn that they can have another look at Mena Suvari’s perky titties.  Those sweet little cupcakes can be seen in her interracial sex scene, which is another kinky reason to catch this film.

After all, we’d all like to see more of Mena Suvari’s naked body, right?  So let’s do our part to keep her career alive, and while you’re waiting for her next boob fest, you can check out those naughty movie scenes on this site.