Hollywood Scanner Blog

You see them hanging on the wall of practically every mechanic’s garage (or so the movies have made us believe). They’re usually grease-covered and a couple of years old. And they almost always look cheap, featuring big-boobed models named Amber, or Tiffany, if they have names at all. I am talking about every sexually potent straight man’s best friend - the naked calendar. For 365 days they give us pleasure beyond our wildest dreams. Yet they have always been the subject of ridicule and disgust by most moral (read: prudes) and conservative (read: ugly) people who view it as exploitation and sexualization of the human body. For the past sixty odd years, one company’s calendar has been trying to change the idea of the nude calendar, and it must be working because not only has Oscar winners, athletes, and acclaimed models dropped trou for this calendar, but it has also become one of the most acclaimed and most-awaited collection of images that celebrate the beauty of the female form. I am talking about The Pirelli Calendar.

For the past years, everyone from Sienna Miller to Sofia Loren to supermodels Kate Moss and Alessandra Ambrosio have been featured. For next year’s salvo, they will feature a bevy of hot supermodel babes including (but not limited to) Ana Beatriz Barros, Rosie Huntington-Whitley, and Miranda Kerr. Yes, the celebrated models of today will be going topless for photographer Terry Richardson who is now my God. Any man who can convince women as hot as these to bear their tits for him has most definitely got the golden touch (imagine how he is at bars!) They’ve already begun shooting the nude and topless calendar photos with a sort of a jungle theme, complete with reptiles, primates, and bugs. So not only will these women be naked, they’ll have an assortment of creatures splayed all over their bodies while frolicking in the jungle. God, I hope they brought some neo-sporen.

So expect the calendar to be out some time in October, or maybe even earlier - just in time for your Christmas shopping. I for one wouldn’t mind seeing naked Miranda, Ana, and Rosie stuffed in my stocking. Expect it to be chock full of boobies, butts and babes. Not bad for a company that began selling tires. Definitely something I would never expect from a company like that. And with it’s reputation for calendars with artistic nudes, along with it’s illustrious history, it apparently is an honor to be picked to appear in the calendar since the talent behind the pics is renowned. Everyone from Anni Liebowitz to Bruce Webber has photographed for the calendar. Me personally, I could give a shit about the artsy side of it. Bring on the supermodel boobies! Just like the ones you’ll find right here.

It’s Lily Allen topless!  Scratching your head at this bit of nekkid news?  Then your taste in music must run counter to the music fans over in Britain, where Lily Allen is pretty big, both for her music and her musical collaborations and for her tabloid-friendly meltdowns, in public and on her webpage.  But hey, that’s how Lily Allen got famous in the first place — she started posting her music on her My Space page and soon she was getting thousands and thousands of hits and invites as the social networking enthusiasts on that site helped get her enough attention to receive some mainstream music company help in releasing and promoting her songs.  Her songs have been downloaded 19 million times from her page there.  No money from that kind of set-up though, right?  Well, she’s in the music biz now though, with a number one UK single, Brit Awards and MTV VMA nominations.  She also had a TV show, but what really makes her a celeb we like to follow is her Lindsay-like public displays of drunkeness, her rehab stints, and controversial statements against other stars like Amy Winehouse and Kylie Minogue.  We’ve also seen her titties before, in a topless scenario in Cannes.

So, interested in Lily Allen now?  You know you’re going to see much more of her [knockers|funbags|ta tas|boobs|bumpers|bosoms]] in the future, and you can check out what you’ve missed here on this site right now!

It’s the Christmas season so we’re spreading the Holiday cheer the best way we know how — ignoring the A-List celebs all bundled up in layers of warm clothing as they snuggle next to the fireplaces in their mansions and vacation houses — so that we can bring you something better.  Now how can an English pin up  model be better than gossip on some really famous Hollywood celeb?  Well, how about if they’re stacked, topless and posing in a Santa-themed bikini?  Yeah, I knew I had you at stacked, and it’s not as if Danielle Lloyd is a total unknown, stripping for the cameras to make next month’s rent or something like that.  No, she’s an actual beauty title-holder, with Miss England 2004 under her belt, and the Miss Great Britain 2006 title too.  But this busty hottie lost the latter title in Vanessa Williams-like circumstances, due to posing for Playboy’s December 2006 issue.  Oh, and for going out with one of the judges of the pageant before she joined, and not telling anyone about it.

She’s also a true-blue reality show star, being one of the notorious group that bullied Shelpa Shetty in the Celebrity Edition of Big Brother in 2007.  Bad press or not, that was still a whole lot of exposure for her, and it certainly hasn’t hurt the demand for her to be in the pages of men's magazines like Maxim and FHM, where she’s always ranked in the past few years.  With juggs like those, it’s only natural that she’s on those lists, especially since she’s had some work done on ‘em to bring them from 32AA to a ripe 32DD.  Yeah, you know that’s what we like about these chesty UK bombshells.  If you like ‘em as much as we do, you can check out a lot of them by clicking on this link, and you know that they’ll be nude and naughty, because that’s just what these cuties do, isn’t it?  (Oh yeah: Note to Heidi Montag, this is how you display your melons for the boys, ok?)

Now here’s a video that critics and Joe Sixpack can all agree is worth seeing.  Those film-school educated critics and the average horny dude on the street should go check out Darren Aronofsky’s “The Wrestler” when it comes out.  This gritty drama about a washed-up pro wrestler trying to reconnect with his teenage daughter (played by chick Evan Rachel Wood who’s now free from the clutches of the freaky Marilyn Manson), should tug at the heartstrings of those with a low testosterone count, while the rest of us can enjoy this movie for the shots it has showing Marisa Tomei’s titties!  Well, we certainly aren’t going to watch it to see Mickey Rourke wrestle, and besides, who wants to see Hollywood try and tell us again that pro wrestling’s fake and everything’s staged?  Shocking, I know.  But that’s what ‘em liberal media-types think.  Hulk Hogan ought to set ‘em straight, y’know?  I’d rather watch a real rasslin’ show than this, if they didn’t have those tit shots and stripping scenes of Marisa Tomei!

Just check out these screencaps and tell me watching Marisa Tomei gyrate onscreen before taking off her top isn’t worth the price of admission!  Can’t do it, huh?  She’s around 40 already but still scorching hot, and she’s already on my list of fave showbiz stars who’ve played strippers.  Would you just look at that tight, hot body she’s still got.  And those bosoms aren’t half bad!  You wouldn’t know she had such juicy twin peaks from watching her in her other movies.  I guess you want to see more of those juggs now that you know they’re so nice, huh?  Well, you can do that on this site, so click on that link and see what else Marisa Tomei’s got for ya!

It looks like the VMA Awards were just the tip of the iceberg when it came to Britney Spears lovefests, because another pop music institution is making a big deal about Britney’s return to form (literally, as these pictures show — even with all the airbrushing).  You’d think that these jokers didn’t enjoy those paparazzi episodes like everyone else, with all the cunny-flashing and head-shaving white trash goodness you could handle.

My guess is we’re all just in need of a nice, long wank fest, with all the pressure everyone’s been under, with the bankruptcies and recent elections.  And we can’t do that with a bald Britney pigging out everyday with whatever she can get her hands on, washed down with a gallon of beer.  So yeah, I guess we ought to be thankful she’s gotten that sexy bod back, the one we were all drooling over back when she first showed up in her sizzling schoolgirl outfit.

That’s the kind of body you can see in her new Rolling Stones pictorial, and if you can ignore the crazy look in her eye that’s still there, you’ll be hard as a rock in no time, especially when you remember her debauched party girl ways.  Want to refresh your memory?  Click on this link to go back to those weird-ass Britney Spears days of yore, and bet on it that she’ll be back to her tabloid-friendly tricks in no time!

“Crank 2: High Voltage” sure is cranking up the testosterone levels of every red-blooded male movie fan I know, even before the movie is out in the theaters!  We’re not even talking about Jason Statham’s kick-ass action scenes and bloody violence this movie is sure to have.  All the news and pictures recently featuring Amy Smart in various levels of undress are all we need to declare that we’re going to love this movie, just because it’s got lots of views of Amy Smart’s tits!  First there was that shot of Amy Smart’s nipple slip, while she was fighting Corey Haim, of all people.  And now here are photos from the set of the movie showing Amy Smart topless, with only nipple tape covering up her perky boobies.  Now that’s close enough to nudity for us!  When the movie comes out, you know we’ll be ready to capture all the naked action for everyone’s pleasure, particularly ours…

Amy Smart’s had lots of topless moments throughout her career, which is why she’s definitely one of our favorites.  You can check out those naughty moments, and more, when you click on this link!

You’ve just got to love Keeley Hazell.  This Page 3 Girl, topless glamour model and sex tape star has been showing her luscious size 32-E breasts for a year or two already, and I’m sure the entire male half of the British nation is grateful.  But Keeley Hazell just keeps on giving, because that’s the kind of girl she is, and so here we have her in a tribute to the British Olympians.  Or if this pictorial came out during The Games itself, it probably served as an inspiration to Britannia’s male athletes, reminding them of what waited for them back home.  And that would be Keeley Hazell, topless and covered in gold paint, with a medal hanging down between her juicy, voluptuous cleavage.  You definitely can’t ask for a better reward than that!

But there are other rewards to enjoy, even for those of us less athletically-inclined, like Keeley Hazell topless without any paint, and of course the Keeley Hazell sex tape, which you can all find when you click on this link.

Mena Suvari had better find the right vehicle to get her back on top, quick.  It’s been a while since she mesmerized everyone with her nude role in “American Beauty”, and it looks like her latest film isn’t going to be the one to resuscitate her career, despite another round of her showing her tits.

“Stuck” is a film from Stuart Gordon, better known for the cult-horror film “Re-Animator”, and it’s about a woman who runs over a homeless man and drives home with him stuck in her windshield, where she decides to just let him die.  It actually had a limited run in 2 theaters, where it grossed $10,200, and is now being released straight-to-video instead.

Those are not good box office returns, but maybe business will pick up with those DVDs when guys learn that they can have another look at Mena Suvari’s perky titties.  Those sweet little cupcakes can be seen in her interracial sex scene, which is another kinky reason to catch this film.

After all, we’d all like to see more of Mena Suvari’s naked body, right?  So let’s do our part to keep her career alive, and while you’re waiting for her next boob fest, you can check out those naughty movie scenes on this site.

The gorgeous 23-year-old English actress has said that she banned studio executives from digitally enhancing her cleavage.  Keira Knightley plays Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire, in the period flick “The Duchess” and she says that she’s proud of her modest breasts and didn’t want them enhanced in any publicity photos.  There were people who claimed that she looked flat-chested throughout the whole movie but the actress remained steadfast in her decision, in part because her breasts were digitally enlarged for posters and publicity stills for her 2004 movie “King Arthur”.

She said, “Those things certainly weren’t mine!  I was like. ‘OK, fine.  I honestly don’t give a shit!’.”  She previously revealed that she would like to have larger boobs but that she’s never going to get them because she’s fine with her natural look.

I say Keira’s great-looking as she is right now even though most people think that she’s too thin and need a bit of meat on her.  No other woman looks as glamorous as she is even though she’s “modest” in the chest department.  She manages to exude sex appeal through her very pores and men take notice of that, whether or not she has big breasts.  Of course, being voluptuous is a plus.  But with Keira showing her tits in some of her movies like “In the Hole” and getting drenched to the skin in “Atonement”, I think she’s done more than enough to get our favorite body part down south hard and lusting for some hot celebrity ass!

If you want more naughty stuff from this gorgeous English actress, then check out this website and I’m pretty sure you won’t get disappointed with their collection of nude photos and videos of your favorite celebrities.